Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
