I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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