u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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