I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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