i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
