Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
