before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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