she was so not down for the gang bang
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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