I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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