I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
its liver damage thursday
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
