ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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