if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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