party gras won. party gras always wins.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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