I wish I could teleport
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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