3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
