He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
