I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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