dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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