HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
