unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I stole a fireplace last night.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
