drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
