dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
