It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize