I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
