you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
