i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I am available for nakedness
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
