You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
