Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
