Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
