Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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