Dual....:-)
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
