i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
