Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
