is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just found a bag of teeth...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
