did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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