you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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