my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize