whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
