My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
