I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
