I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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