The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
