therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
