my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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