My hair reeks of homosexuality.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
