i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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