Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
