is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
