ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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