Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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