i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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