Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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