D3 body, D1 cock
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
