god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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