So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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