u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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