Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Randomize
