Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Randomize
