Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
