There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
