Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
